she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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