you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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