I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
