his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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