just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I love having hate sex.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
