were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My penis needs a shock collar
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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