he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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