I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
