Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
