You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
