we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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