felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
