yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
