What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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