Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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