Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
