i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How's work?
Spinning.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
