Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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