Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
50% drunk capacity currently
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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