at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
