summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
