Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Every concussion has its silver lining
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
