it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
