WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
