it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
