OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if only i could text you this smell
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
