i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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