CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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