Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize