Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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