Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Come back. Shots need mouths.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
