You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
