All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
These tits shall not be calmed
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
