I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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