I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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