You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
