At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
