it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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