if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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