She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
