I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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