We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
