I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
birth control should be required to get into college
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
