I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
