Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
