I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
