Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
