with your own penis?
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I look better un-naked...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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