she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Mom said you looked used
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
