We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
