ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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