I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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