i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
