I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I will pee on everything he values.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Everclear isn't food dammit
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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