So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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