i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
