I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
