all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
