RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
