Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

Fav 7 1952 1013
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(503): View more from Oregon

I peed while puking? Even better

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are

Fav 23 3143 1185
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(815): View more from Illinois

Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here

Fav 36 1247 6534
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(410): View more from Maryland

what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?

Fav 29 11312 1579
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(208): View more from Idaho

I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table

Fav 15 4292 1405
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

Fav 15 6610 1402
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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

Fav 4 797 1457
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(785): View more from Kansas

Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.

Fav 1 332 162
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(636): View more from Missouri

How did the test come back?

(314): View more from Missouri

I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control

Fav 0 51 15
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