OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
