So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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