The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
